It's not that I haven't been creating, or reading, or traveling (well, maybe not traveling so much), but that I haven't been blogging. For a long time now, I've felt that the blog is dead. Right now I'd rather have blogs than Facebook, but I don't know how that's going to work out.
I've just, for simplicity's sake, gotten rid of some of my Wordpress blogs, and plan to move them over here to Blogger. Basically they're my art blogs, which have suffered even more than this one, including my writing blog. Today I'm trying to import what's left of my art blog onto a new site here, and it seems like I'm failing spectacularly. In the long run, I may just start posting my work here, since I'm not showing and I'm not selling. I may, at one point, be able to sell some fiber work, but right now I'm at a standstill.
I have a new spinning wheel, a new loom, and am trying to create a space to work, which has so far involved getting rid of my too heavy to move TV set and trying to get rid of my way-to-large media center. I have joked, in the past, about my kids running away when they see me stand at one end of the room, my eyes darting from one area to another. They know I am re-arranging furniture in my mind, and soon the actual movement will start. Even the dog seems to know, because the other day when I was standing in the kitchen reorganizing the living room in my head, the dog poked her head out, took one look at me, then ran and hid.
What I really need is another room to work in, and save my living room to relax in, and my bedroom to sleep in, but that's not happening. I'm starting to come to grips with the idea that with 2/3 of my life in the past, it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to have improved circumstances, and that I have to adapt to what I do have in terms of space and resources.
Oh, the picture above is a detail of my multi-media piece Gloom 2021. I've been thinking a lot about New Mexico these days, as I tend to as the holidays approach. There is NOTHING like Christmas in Santa Fe!
But it's highly unlikely I'll be going to Santa Fe this Christmas.
Another thing to adapt to.
Over the last few months I've been thinking about the things I want to do to fill up my time. I am starting to wonder if I really need my time to be full. With the loom and the spinning wheel and new sewing machine and all the paint, paper, and fiber I have here, I certainly have options for my unstructured days. Mostly, right now, I've been reading rather than creating.
The pandemic gloom has given me time and motivation to reevaluate things... to self empty... and to start thinking more about the things I want in myself and my life and less about the obligations I feel have been placed on me by myself and the world at large.
There's a reason Zozobra burns. The burning away of the gloom, the lighting of the future.
I find peace and hope in my own life, in the midst of the chaos I see and feel outside. It inspires me to create, and to nest. To turn inward, and reach outward.
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