My family would not recognize the way I shop anymore. Going to Savers used to take literally hours, while I poured over every aisle looking for the best bargains. Today it feels more like a game of Supermarket Sweep , I have a limited plan of what to look at, and I pretty much race through the aisles to find those things, and if I don't find them, I leave. No, I do not wait around. I don't see if they're bringing out anything new. I don't recheck the aisles.
Saver's feels dangerous to me, as do supermarkets. I spend as little time as possible in those stores. It was only the weather channel that had me shopping for warmer clothes I can afford before heading north to Petaluma.
Yesterday I had to go out to drop off the car to get the trailer hitch put on for the move. Los was here with me most of the afternoon. It made me nervous to have him around, but there are some things that I need to be realistic about when it comes to this pandemic. One of those things is that I couldn't stand out on a street corner for hours waiting for my car to be finished, and I needed a ride back and forth.
Yesterday I also read a number of very disturbing news stories, including this one about a couple who died from COVID after the wife had an at home haircut with a family member whom they saw for only 40 minutes, seated at an open window, after a negative COVID test. I couldn't help but feel a little suspicious of what my son-in-law could be bringing into my apartment.
The problem is, as much as we'd like to think we live in perfect isolation, we do not. We cannot. Take the example of nursing homes. Even without visits from relatives, nursing homes have been ravaged by the virus. The residents don't go out, don't have contact with other people... caregivers bring the virus in.
In the past year, we've all been exposed to any number of people. We HAVE to either go shopping or be exposed to those who do, and, honestly? I trust my son-in-law or daughter to be masked and to sanitize a lot more than I do some stranger who works delivery for a living, and whose lively hood is dictated by the clock, and the speed in which they work.
Doctors. It scared the daylights out of me when my surgery was canceled because my doctor was going to be "out of office for about two weeks" and they wouldn't reschedule for the time afterwards. To me that's code for "doctor tested positive". Medical offices seem very unsafe. I was terrified a week ago when I had to go to the physical therapist and saw 4 clients in the small, gym-like room. I'm not going back.
Now I've found this risk assessment map from Georgia Tech, and I've been looking at it for different scenarios. I've found I have a risk of between 68% and 98% of encountering someone with Coronavirus on a whale watching boat, depending on how many people are on the boat. The 68% number represents the lowest number (20) of persons with tickets that the company would make a trip out with (because it is the number that offsets fuel cost) and the 98% number is at 3/4 of the new, reduced capacity (due to the current health orders). Neither is acceptable.
Unfortunately, the map doesn't tell you the risk for individual contact. It calculates in groups of multiples of 10. Today, the risk of encountering someone with COVID-19 in a random group of 10 in Orange County is 44%.
It worries me. I HAVE to pick up groceries soon. I generally shop between 6am and 7:30 am to avoid crowds when I can. The stores are pretty empty at that point, but I know that no matter what I do, I am apt to be exposed at some point... or some numerous points. I talk more about going shopping than I actually go shopping these days. I say "I need to go out and get such and such..." and don't go out. I just don't feel safe. The list of things I'm doing without, however, is getting a bit lengthy, and I know in the next day or two, even if I spend the rest of the month eating my emergency soup and rice in my pantry, I am going to HAVE to go out. I simply can't afford delivery on Social Security and SNAP.
But I DO have that bottle of vodka I've had for the last 9 months, and it's still more than 3/4 full.
I don't know why, but somehow my anxiety just doesn't focus on covid or the pandemic. It comes out to play for plenty of other reasons but not this one. ( Possibly my brain tumor surgery removed that particular fear from me.) I am doing all the required things - wearing a mask when I go out, keeping my distance, washing my hands, using sanitizer - and I feel okay about it. And because I live with my mother (who is over 75) she hasn't seen the inside of a grocery store since...last March I think, but I have become almost a professional grocery shopper. I am quite impressed that you are able to get to the store during those "seniors and other vulnerable population" hours, I am NOT a morning person. (Looking back at the hours I arrived at the office when I was working full time just stuns me.) I wish I lived near you and could help by doing some shopping for you, I really hate that you are having to do without. But more than anything, I think I understand not being able to afford paying for delivery service! But when we do without, the terrorists, in the form of this disease, are winning. They are every asshole who refused to wear a mask, ignored the science in favor of spreading superstition, and generally contributed to the spread of this disease. One of 'em lives in the White House for a few more weeks. When he leaves we will celebrate. You'll want to save some of that vodka for the party, won't you? ;)
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