Difficult Decisions

 

This photo is from a couple years ago.  I'm seriously layered up to look at elephant seals at Point Reyes with Ellen and Carlos here.  I learned from last year, it's friggin' COLD up there! 

I don't do well in the cold.  Everything hurts if I've been out in the cold too long, which is one reason I escaped to New Mexico (which has exactly the right amount of snow, and isn't cold and damp) and one of the reasons why I moved back to Southern California last year.

This is also some of my whale watching gear.  I bought this LLBean storm coat in red, because that's the color coat we're supposed to have at Cabrillo Whale Watch.  I always assumed at some point I'd go back.

Over the last half decade or so, whale watching has become a big part of who I am.  I love it.

I'd love it more if the Grey Whales would migrate in warmer weather. 

Being a naturalist on a boat or a docent on the shore has pretty much been a given for me.  Tomorrow starts the training for Whale Watch docents on Bodega Head.  I've signed up.  

But I have reservations. 

How long will I love it standing out in the unprotected cold on a cliff overlooking the ocean?  

Some sensible part of me says "why are you wasting your and everyone else's time with this training when you're going to be miserable out there?" 

The other part of me fires back, "because it's WHALES... I can do this!"

I'm not sure that's the point.  I'm wondering if the point is that I need to consider how my self identity is wrapped up in something that I may not be able to do here. 

I haven't decided yet what to do about tomorrow.